Discovering vulnerability through Hermione

Task: Performing Hermione's Monologue, The Winter's Tale by Shakespeare, act 3, scene 2
Space: Studios, Toi Whakaari; NZ Drama School
Time: 30 April-23 May 2012 (Advanced Skills block)
Guides: Jonty Hendry, Tom McRory, Jon Hunter, Classmates; Today with coaching from Shannon Friday

Since what I am to say must be but that

Which contradicts my accusation, and

The testimony on my part no other

But what comes from myself, it shall scarce boot me

To say, "Not guilty." Mine integrity,

Being counted falsehood, shall, as I express it,

Be so received. But thus: if powers divine

Behold our human actions, as they do,

I doubt not then but innocence shall make

False accusation blush and tyranny

Tremble at patience. You, my lord, best know,

Who least will seem to do so, my past life

Hath been as continent, as chaste, as true,

As I am now unhappy; which is more

Than history can pattern, though devised

And played to take spectators. For behold me--

A fellow of the royal bed, which owe

A moiety of the throne, a great king's daughter,

The mother to a hopeful prince -- here standing

To prate and talk for life and honor 'fore

Who please to come and hear. For life, I prize it

As I weigh grief, which I would spare. For honor,

'Tis a derivative from me to mine,

And only that I stand for. I appeal

To your own conscience, sir, before Polixenes

Came to your court, how I was in your grace,

How merited to be so; since he came,

With what encounter so uncurrent I

Have strained t' appear thus; if one jot beyond

The bound of honor, or in act or will

That way inclining, hardened be the hearts

Of all that hear me, and my near'st of kin

Cry fie upon my grave!

I chose this monologue to explore when fight and vulnerability meet. I have no problem with vulnerability when it coincides with low energy, defeat or being victimised but, my research is on staying open within that vulnerability. This is exactly Hermione.

I think if I was to be cast as anyone in The Winter's Tale it would be Paulina. She fights overtly from the earth, with fire and will. Hermione's fight is from her heart and her honor. In this monologue she is standing before an entire court and her husband, maids and knights, towns people, every one. She has had everything taken away from her; her new born baby, her sick child, her love, her reputation, her crown, her queen's garments. All Hermione has to fight with is herself and her honor; and she is tired.

Today I managed to catch up with MTA (directing) student, Shannon Friday who is also a lover of Shakespeare. I managed to catch her at a time when she was free and took the opportunity to have her look over the monologue for me. Lucky me!

I talked through with Shannon about my objectives and tactics and how I was wanting to explore the emotional connection in a more successful way. Previously I had been trying to concentrate on standing, strong and open while driving for my objective. Shannon set up three chairs in a line, leading towards her (she acted in place as Leontes). Shannon requested that I use the chairs as tactics through the monologue, choosing to walk to one or back to another. This exercise helped to me understand Jonty Hendry's exercise of making tactics clear by adding "it's not that, it's this" and 'I'm here and you're there" to monologues. Using the chairs gets me better results because I use my body to respond to the impulse for the tactic change rather than thinking it which I seem to do when speaking the words.

We also used the wise teachings of former Head of Voice, D'Arcy Smith. Shannon led me through the exercise of "whispering the text" I whispered lines of the monologue and she had me repeat different words following her questions and prompting, "Behold- when was the last time you were held? When was the last time you held something beautiful? When was the last time you needed to be held?". I began to colour the words with even more emotion connection and memories. Hermione is using memories throughout this text in an attempt to lure Leontes back to himself- remember who I am, remember our child, remember when we were happy.

I'm really excited with the discoveries I am making and where this monologue to taking me. My goal is to be able to present it openly and truthfully and I am beginning to feel like that isn't so impossible.

Thanks Jonty, Tom, Jon and Shannon!!!

Solo {Post 1.0}

Task: Create and perform a 20 minute solo
Space: SEEyD Space, Toi Whakaari; NZ Drama School
Time: 3-13 October 2012 (Performance season)
Guides: Sophie Roberts (Director), Leon Wadham, Anya Tate-Manning, Classmates

I began my exploration by looking at the space.
It is dark, it is cold, it is small, it is concrete and plywood. There is a garage roller door which opens out to a large studio space. It has a wooden door with a glass window that open to the same space. It has a wooden door that opens to a hallway. It is industrial. The floor is concrete and uneven, painted black.  The ceiling is high. The sounds of footsteps and movement above comes through loudly.
This space is not very forgiving. The concrete and plywood of the room absorbs and flattens sound so I will have to work sound and vocals very precisely for clarity. The concrete, uneven floor provides no bounce or lift for movement. There is a visual sweet-spot, when leaning on the left wall. The back corners are visually "dead". There isn't a lot of space here and the audience will be close and intimate, which makes playing "big" or "epic" challenging.

My immediate question is will I work with the qualities the space is offering me or will I attempt to transform it? If so, how could I warm this space? How could I make is seem bigger? Lighter?

What do I want to make?

For my next step, I dreamed on what I actually wanted to make. I made lists of things I know that I can do strongly, things that tutors would like to see me try, things that I want to learn and become stronger at and also things that I've simply always wanted to do on stage.

• visual narrative
• poetry
• clown
• physical score
• inter-cultural elements
• collage
• butoh
• New Zealand landscape
• elements
• language not as the primary focus
• colour as narrative
• sound-scape
• direct address
• mythology
• dream state
• slapstick
• grotesque
• subversion and juxtaposition
• physical suspensions of space
• audience flirtation and charm
• lure
• physical transformation

I also made a list of artists and companies would I would like to use as a model for my work:

• The Conch
• Stan's Cafe
• Zen Zen Zo
• Red Mole
• Odin Teatret
• Jenny Kemp
• Indian Ink
• Theatre Kore
• Minge
• Madeline McNamara
• Keiin Yoshimura
• Theater Potlach
• Song of the Goat
• Slava's Snow Show

Somewhere in these lists is my solo show. Next step: Offers; Creating and Testing.

Actor's Research Project 2012 {Post 1.0}

How can I radiate through the space with a sense of stillness and simplicity?

“Parvathy (Baul) is stronger than me, because she has no weapons.” Eugenio Barba, at Tantidhatri Festival.

As an actor I have a tendency to close down and internalise when confronted by a significant emotional response and/or direct audience connection. I also have an inner energy that flicks about at 1000 miles an hour which limits my capacity for communion with my audience. While away I witnessed that 99% of the actors and performers I saw contained a greater sense of inner stillness and a consistency or how that energy was directed to their audience. The artists who worked very physically also maintained this. All artists worked with the qualities of simplicity and precision while radiating out openly and easefully to their scene partners and audience.

“Deborah, your spirit is like the moon, you must move like a sunset” Keiin Yoshimura to me during my Noh training.

I know that an audience prefers me when my work is very focused and when I slow right down. I know that the audience can read a lot by my doing little. Currently when I do manage to slow right down I become vulnerable and disengage with my audience, my performance becomes internal and only for me.

“Whatever that is right there in this moment you have to stay and face it, get closer, don’t run away, go to it” Drew Der Kinderen (Principal Instructor of Zen Zen Zo Theatre Company) to me during my Suzuki training.

My goal is to be able to sit comfortably in vulnerability, communing with my audience strongly and easefully.

To discover this I will continue to investigate and pull from different theatre forms and traditions to discover what they do in each moment which encourages connection, inner stillness and openness.
I will mostly be concentrating on the similarities between:

·         Noh Theatre (Kamigata-mai tradition)

·         Commedia Dell’arte

·         Topeng

·         Clown

·         Butoh

Using these forms as a vehicle, I will explore the similarities and cross-overs they share of methods to allow a strong audience connection through simplicity. I am interested to know how all of the training and knowledge of a performer can be delivered easefully in performance.

.......THEN said the teacher, Speak to us of teaching.

And he said: No man can reveal to you aught but that which

already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge.

- Kahlil Gibran -

Research:

·         Investigation of artists performing successfully with openness, ease and audience connection from a variety of cultures and forms.

·         Exploration of vulnerability through Margi Brown Ash acting as a guide

·         Exploration of Suzuki Method

·         Primary interviews with artists

·         Study of Autobiographical books by artists

Testing:

·         Practise and investigation through Go Solo seeding

·         Testing work in different locations; e.g., the foyer at lunchtime, the middle of a busy pedestrian area, a quiet beach, etc.

·         Sharing my creative process and discoveries through a public blog

·         Filming myself in stillness for 5 minutes at a time and reflection of emotional response and physical viewing. Repeated throughout the year.

Projects:

·         Our Country’s Good (Arthur Phillip): Performance and creative process

·         IPP: Networking, Voice Over/Radio, casting

·          Go Solo: Performance and creative process.

During these projects I will be working with the following sub questions to aid in the exploration from my working question:

(i)             How can I open up and be vulnerable within process (how to commit in times of fear/lightness in times of struggle).

(ii)            How can I trust and to allow myself to be held by my company and my director.

(iii)           How can I become savvy to when the work is hot/on and why it's working?

(iv)           How can I investigate and stretch moments that work?

Good Morning